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Don’t worry. I’m not dying. Yet, my recent cancer diagnosis prompted me to think about my mortality.
We’re treating my cancer aggressively, and I plan to be around for a long time. But there’s always the possibility that an unforeseen side effect of chemotherapy could suddenly take my life.
Or I could die of a heart attack, stroke, or some other acute illness unrelated to cancer. And, of course, any of us could die unexpectedly in an accident.
I hope you’ll consider these five reasons you may wish to pre-plan your funeral regardless of your age or health.
Reduce stress
No matter the circumstances of a death, it’s a stressful event for loved ones. We need to make a litany of decisions, often within a limited amount of time. It’s sad to see families look back after a funeral and wish they had done things differently.
I want to make the process as easy as possible for my family. Rather than spending time stressing over funeral decisions, I want them to savor their time together.
Avoid family conflicts
I’m very fortunate that my extended family gets along well. Yet, I realize there could be disagreements among them about specific aspects of my funeral. By referring to my written preferences, they’ll avoid misunderstandings and hard feelings.
Assure accuracy
Over the years, I remember attending the funerals of a couple of people whom I knew very well, and it surprised me to see mistakes in their obituaries. Yet, we can’t expect adult children to know all the details of their parent’s work history, education, and other life events. When we record the information in advance, it avoids these errors.
Also, have you considered which details you wish to include in your obituary? For example, do you want to include:
- Your cause of death
- A favorite pet
- The name of an ex-spouse
- A favorite charity to receive memorial gifts
Personalize the service
I have specific reasons for every aspect of my funeral service, including the songs, readings, funeral home, and musicians. These choices were based on memories from my life. I’m uncertain if my family knows these stories, and they might create a service very different from the one I planned.
Reduce costs
When decisions need to be made quickly by a grieving family, it’s easy to spend more money on a funeral than is necessary. There’s a sense that if we spend a lot of time doing cost comparisons, we somehow dishonor our loved one.
Yet, I would much prefer that my family spend this extra money enjoying a special activity together or on a donation to charity rather than on “fluff” at my funeral.
So, where do I begin?
You can find lots of excellent online resources for funeral pre-planning. Many include checklists that walk you through the entire process.
Colleges and community education programs may offer classes on funeral planning. An advantage to this format is the ability to exchange ideas with other participants.
Funeral homes will usually assist you in pre-planning your service. However, be sure you understand and feel comfortable with the details before making a financial commitment.
Have you pre-planned your funeral? What advice would you add?
Recommended workbook:
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