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Earlier this week, I posted an article suggesting ways to express appreciation for our loved one’s caregivers. Afterward, I received an interesting email from one of my readers.
She asked what we can do when we feel unappreciated. What about those residents and their family members who never express a word of thanks? Rather, they seem to nitpick everything we do.
I suspect every caregiver can relate to this experience. Here are several tips to help you cope with these situations.
Understand their emotions
Most times, a lack of appreciation has nothing to do with you. Rather, it’s a reflection of the difficult emotions the resident or their family are experiencing.
The family may feel:
- Guilty over not being able to care for their loved one at home
- Suspicious because of negative nursing home stories they’ve heard
- Fear of an unknown future
- Sorrow while watching their loved one decline
- Overwhelmed by family and work responsibilities
The resident may feel:
- Loss of a sense of control
- Irritable because of chronic pain
- Overwhelmed by their new living situation
- Embarrassed over needing care from another person
- Anxiety over their medical condition
While these emotions may explain the response of a resident or a family member, it doesn’t give them the right to treat you with disrespect. We might overlook an occasional outburst when someone is under stress. But if the disrespectful behavior becomes repetitive, be sure to discuss the situation with a supervisor.
Appreciate yourself
Here’s something I want you to always remember. When you work in healthcare, you can go home at the end of every shift knowing that someone’s day was better because you were there.
Even if other people don’t express appreciation for the work you do, I hope you discover ways to show appreciation to yourself. One option is to set aside a time each day to do something special just for you. How you do this will be different for everyone; here are 50 ideas to get you started.
You can also keep a “good things” journal. At the end of each shift, jot down a couple of good things that happened that day. Specifically, consider how you made a positive difference in someone’s life. When you feel unappreciated, you can renew your spirit by reading back over your journal.
Support each other
Most caregivers report a significant increase in stress levels during the pandemic. And when we’re stressed, we’re usually harder on each other.
That’s why it’s so important to watch for opportunities to express appreciation to our co-workers. It’s human nature to speak up if we’re unhappy about something. But how often do we feel appreciation for another person, yet we don’t say it out loud?
When we create an environment of appreciation, it helps everyone feel better about their work. This, in turn, means better care for our residents.
Remember why you’re doing this
None of us went into healthcare expecting a multitude of praise for our work. Rather, we chose our careers because we wanted to make a positive difference in the lives of other people.
Sometimes we never see the results of our hard work. Or perhaps there’s a long delay, such as the family that expresses no appreciation until after their loved one has passed away.
So, when you feel discouraged, think back to the reasons you chose healthcare in the first place. Then remember that you truly are making a difference, even when you don’t see the fruits of your labor.
If you’re feeling unappreciated to the point where you’re losing passion for your work, don’t let those feelings fester. Talk to someone before you end up burning out. This could be the nursing home social worker or chaplain, or your Employee Assistance Program.
Graciously accept appreciation
Many of us quickly reply to a word of thanks with, “It’s no problem,” or “That’s what I’m here for.” Have you ever thought about how these types of responses diminish the value of a compliment?
Rather, I hope you’ll let people know how much their thank-you means to you. Your positive response encourages people to share more words of appreciation with you and with other caregivers.
What did I miss? How do you respond when you feel unappreciated? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.
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