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A sad and scary situation unfolded in our community over the past week. Early on the evening of October 1, an 80-year-old man walked away from a local memory care facility and disappeared. Despite extensive searches by police and other groups, they’ve found no sign of the gentleman.
I can’t begin to imagine how agonizing this uncertainty must be for his family. And I know it’s difficult for the staff of the memory care facility, too. While I’ve heard no details about what happened that evening, I do know that this facility has a reputation for providing excellent care for people living with dementia.
This incident prompts me to consider why a person living with dementia might get lost:
Going home
Probably the most common reason a resident might wander away is that they want to go home. When we hear the word “home,” we often think they’re talking about the place they lived just before coming to the nursing home.
However, home can mean anywhere the person lived during their lifetime. As dementia progresses, a person often becomes younger and younger in their own mind. So, they could search for a childhood home or the first place they lived after starting a family.
Physical needs
The individual might feel hungry, too hot or too cold, in pain, or they might need to use the toilet. Because of their dementia, they don’t know where to go to meet these needs or how to ask for help.
Long-time habits
When someone has enjoyed a daily 4-mile walk for the past twenty years, they’ll probably feel compelled to continue this activity after they enter the nursing home. Or perhaps they’re used to working in their garden on beautiful summer days.
But once they get outside the building, it’s all too easy to become disoriented to their surroundings. Then they head off in the wrong direction, looking for something familiar.
What they observe
A resident may watch visitors coming and going through the front door, and they decide it’s time for them to leave, too. Even seeing staff members putting on their jackets and getting ready to go home at a change of shift can be a trigger.
Seeing cars in a parking lot can also tempt a resident to leave. This is especially true if a vehicle looks similar to one they used to drive.
Past obligations
Residents often forget that their past responsibilities have ended. As a result, they feel compelled to go to places such as work, school, church, or the grocery store.
Thinking they are much younger than their current age, a parent might believe they need to pick up their kids after school. Or a farmer might feel a need to go out and do the chores.
Emotions
Anything that causes a resident to feel stressed or fearful can cause them to want to leave. These include too much noise, too many people, or internal triggers like hallucinations.
Loneliness or boredom can also lead to wandering. The individual may go out in search of family or friends, or they’ll look for something meaningful to do.
What did I miss? What other reasons might cause a person living with dementia to become lost?
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