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Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted an update. That’s because things have been pretty stable over the past few months. Cancer has become more like a chronic condition for me rather than an acute illness.
When I was first diagnosed, I told you I would look for lessons to be learned from cancer and share them with you. If you click on the “cancer journey” tab on my blog, you can read about some of those lessons.
Today I’ll share another lesson, hoping my thoughts will help you support a friend, family member, or one of your nursing home residents living with a chronic illness.
But first, I’ll give you a brief update on my current condition.
- My last scan showed I still have cancer, but it’s slowly shrinking in size.
- Because of bone marrow damage, I continue to struggle with low lab values. These include white blood cells (more prone to infection), hemoglobin (fatigue), and platelets (risk of bleeding).
- I continue to go to the oncology clinic once a month for treatments. There I receive intravenous medication to help strengthen my bones, and shots to block estrogen in my body. I also take a daily anti-cancer pill at home.
- I’ve not yet been able to return to work, but I hope to work part-time in the future. I’m grateful for the Social Security benefits I’ve received since turning 62 last year.
Often, when we hear someone has cancer, we expect one of two outcomes. Either they’re cured—or they die. Yet, with today’s better treatments, people can live with cancer for many years.
When people look at me, they probably don’t guess I have cancer. My hair has grown back. I’ve regained some of the weight I lost during chemo. And, although my hemoglobin hasn’t returned to normal, I no longer look like a ghost.
Yet, my life isn’t normal. I tire easily. My body aches during the first 2 to 3 days after receiving my monthly IV medication. (Fortunately, I haven’t had a lot of problems with other types of pain, but many people living with cancer deal with significant chronic pain.) And I need to be extremely careful about avoiding infections.
So, what lesson have I learned from this experience? I like the way writer Jessica Gerlock describes it: “You shouldn’t judge a person by their appearance because you don’t know their story.”
I’ve learned that many people living with chronic illness—whether it’s cancer or something else—look perfectly normal. Yet, it’s so easy to judge people when they don’t keep up with our expectations. We assume they’re lazy, or chronic complainers, or self-centered when we can’t see what they’re going through on the inside.
As you read this post, you might think I’m writing it in response to judgemental comments or acts I’ve received from other people. Thankfully, that’s not the case. I’m surrounded by folks who have been nothing but kind and understanding.
So, I guess I’m writing this as a reminder to myself as well as to everyone else. Moving forward, I want to be more careful about not judging people based on their appearance. Will you join me?
Everyone’s experience with cancer is different. If you live with cancer or another chronic illness, I would love to have you share your thoughts in the comment section.
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