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This month, I’ve added a new adventure to my cancer journey. I’m adjusting to the chemotherapy side effect of hair loss.
Why am I sharing this? Because I’ve learned a few lessons about being bald, and I’m hoping we can use these lessons to better support our residents who lose their hair during cancer treatments.
My experience
The nurse educator told me I might or might not lose my hair during chemo. So, I crossed my fingers and hoped this wouldn’t happen to me.
After my second round of chemo, I noticed more hairs than usual in my comb. But I’ve always had thick hair, so it didn’t seem like a big deal.
But then I started shedding hair everywhere I went. It was on my clothes, and on my furniture, and I felt embarrassed that I might shed when I was out in public. So, I took to applying a heavy dose of hair spray before going anywhere, hoping to keep my hair on my head. Nope, that didn’t work.
Then I started waking up in the morning with awful mats in my hair. It seems the hair I lost during the night twisted in with my remaining hair and created quite a mess. Despite the liberal use of hair conditioners, sometimes I couldn’t comb the mats out of my hair. In fact, one morning my daughter had to cut a chunk of matted hair out of the back of my head as there was nothing else we could do.
The worst part came when my hair started falling out in clumps. My once pretty hair now looked like a war zone.
This entire saga happened in a little over a week, and I finally realized it was time to embrace baldness. I borrowed my son’s beard trimmer, and my daughter graciously shaved my head.
I’ll admit I still feel self-conscious about my baldness when I’m out in public, so I choose to wear a turban or a cap. But around family members, I feel comfortable keeping my head uncovered.
So, what lessons have I learned as a bald woman?
1. I realize now how much our hair helps keep us warm. Since going bald, I become easily chilled in situations that wouldn’t have bothered me in the past. Be aware that a resident may need a head covering, even if the temperature feels warm to you.
2. Please ask before you go bald to support someone who lost their hair. A family member recently asked if she should shave her own head to show solidarity for my cancer fight. While I appreciate the gesture, it wouldn’t hold any special meaning for me. And I would feel bad that she lost her pretty hair on my account. Yet, I also realize many cancer patients feel differently and would find significant support in this act.
3. Don’t ignore the elephant in the room. I’ve seen by the expression on some people’s faces that they’re surprised by my appearance. Yet, they say nothing about my hair loss. I believe what’s most helpful is to affirm you noticed the change, then let the person talk as little or as much about it as they wish.
4. Sometimes people think nursing home residents don’t care that much about their appearance. While some residents may be unphased by the loss of their hair or eyebrows, many will feel self-conscious and unattractive. They may want to explore hair coverings and makeup options, but they don’t know where to begin. That’s where you can become the resident’s advocate, researching and assisting them to explore the many options available today.
5. Prepare kids in advance when Grandma or Grampa loses their hair during cancer treatment. You can find lots of excellent online resources that help explain cancer in age-appropriate terms. Also, encourage kids to come to you with questions.
6. Several people told me their scalps became sore or itchy as they lost their hair. Thankfully, this wasn’t my experience. But I think it’s important to know this can happen.
7. My hair was shoulder length when I started chemotherapy. In hindsight, I wish I had gone to a salon prior to starting chemo and asked to have my hair cut in a short style. I believe this would have made the hair loss a bit less traumatic.
8. We think of hair loss as a challenge for women. But it can be equally difficult for a man going through cancer treatment. Many older men view the hair on their head, face, or chest as signs of masculinity. These men may need extra support, too.
9. If you’re looking for a fun activity to do with a friend or family member in the nursing home, check out the Look Good Feel Better website. They offer free virtual classes for cancer patients on topics such as makeup techniques, scarf tying, and skincare.
Have you experienced hair loss because of cancer treatment? I would love to hear your advice!
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