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A friend and I recently attended a fundraising event for a local charity. While there, I ran across a woman whose mother was a former resident at the nursing home where I volunteer.
She told me how much she appreciated the care provided for her mom over the years. But she said what she remembers most is how the staff cared for her mom and the family after her death.
Like many nursing homes, we offer a bedside memorial service as well as a final escort after the death of a resident. These are important for a few reasons:
- They offer extra comfort and support to the family.
- It provides caregivers with an opportunity to say goodbye.
- They show other residents that they, too, will be honored at death.
I’ll briefly describe each of these programs. I know many of you also have special ways to honor your deceased residents, so please feel free to share them with my readers.
Bedside Memorial Service
With permission from the family, the staff gathers at the bedside of the resident who has died. Or, if the family feels more comfortable gathering in another room, this is also an option.
The nursing home has an outline or script prepared for bedside memorial services. This allows anyone on duty to lead the service at any time of the day or night. Nobody needs to wait for a chaplain or other official leader.
The service can include readings, scripture verses, and a time for caregivers to share special memories of the resident. If the family feels comfortable, they will also often share a few memories as well as offer thanks to the staff for their care.
Final Escort
It’s not many years ago that nursing homes believed the news of a resident’s death would be too distressing for other residents. So, we tried to keep it a secret.
The funeral home arrived and placed the resident in a plastic body bag. Then they quickly and quietly transported the body out the loading dock door to the waiting hearse. We hoped none of the other residents would notice.
Thankfully, today we treat the deceased resident’s body with honor and respect. We drape a beautiful handmade quilt over the resident. Or, in the case of a veteran, a flag may be used.
The funeral home staff wheels the body down the halls and out through the front entrance—the door through which the resident first entered the nursing home. Caregivers and other residents line the halls to pay their respects. Depending on the nursing home, this may be done in silence. Or, it might include the ringing of chimes or a song such as “Amazing Grace”.
I would love to hear how you honor your residents after death. Please share in the comment section so we can learn from each other.
For information on caring for a dying resident, you’ll also want to read these posts:
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